Fear of Looking Stupid
Mahatma Gandhi said, "Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony."
What you think.
What you say.
What you do.
Do you always say everything you think? Do everything you say? Think for a minute: What is the first thing that you actually think in the morning?
Do any of these sound familiar?
I want to change the world.
Ugh, It's Monday.
I love everyone.
It's my turn to take the damn dog out.
What if you actually get up and write down immediately all the things that are in your brain about how you'd like to change the world, and then write down all of the action steps, starting with "Make the call" or "send the email" that it would take to make that happen? What if you take out the "Ugh" but say, "It's Monday - I'm gonna be the best version of myself today!" and take intentional action steps to make it so? What if you say you love everyone and then actually get up and say to your wife, husband, partner, dog, "I love you," and mean it instead of hurrying along with your day? What if you just turn to your dog and say, "I'm so glad you keep me company every day - let's go for a walk!"
Or what about when you're with somebody in an elevator, in the office, on the train, standing in line getting coffee. They start complaining about the weather, or talking about what a long day it's going to be....
Typically we choose something to say back that's 1)going to make us look normal and 2)something they are probably expecting to hear. Something like, "I know and I hear it's going to snow tomorrow!" or "Keep your head up - it's almost Friday." What if instead we started saying exactly what's on our heart?
They start talking about the weather:
When it's cold like this, I go home, put my slippers on, watch Netflix, eat a pint of ice cream, and then feel like shit all night. How about you?
(Maybe this will spark a conversation about health and TV binging! and you'll meet your soul partner!)
Or if you've made positive changes lately:
I find winter is so much more tolerable now that I have a "Miracle Morning" practice. Enjoy your day!
Or give them some poetry instead of adding to their complaints:
"I wonder if the snow loves the trees and fields, that it kisses them so gently?" (Lewis Carroll).
And then just smile and leave.
Another way of saying "when you think, say and do everything in complete harmony" is "staying on your path" but not everyone really understands what that means. For me lately, staying on your path means having complete blinders on. It means walking and working in tunnel vision for what you believe in. It means taking on rejection and criticism and the emotions that come with it and learning from it what you wish that might be helpful and discard all the rest that doesn't resonate, not harboring any hard feelings. It means not "carrying" what someone says about you or to you in offense but thanking Spirit, The Universe, God, for putting that person in your path for teaching you something, and then continuing on with your day. You see most people have a fear of looking stupid. Most people live a life with a facade up because we are conditioned that if we say something that's "out of the norm" then we'll be ostracized. Because of this, most people "live small."
I recently met with a masterful business man who received his Associates degree, his Bachelors, his MBA, and his doctorate starting at the age of 45, when he had 3 of his now 5 kids, was recently hired to manage an entire business by himself and who was the main caretaker of his family (meaning he was the one to get up each night when his young kids got up). He finished in 10 years. He has since recouped his school debt and is providing for his family.
"How did you do that?"
"Some days sucked," he said. "Some days I had no life, but I was just focused. I knew what I wanted the end result to look like and I just kept at it. And it was all worth it."
This same man taught me that you should always set standards for yourself (these can change, of course, but you always need to set standards based on your current beliefs so that you can easily stay working on this path) but that you should never keep expectations. When you have expectations of situations or other people, you'll always be disappointed. Standards will keep you moving towards your goals and desires. They'll make you climb over boulders and forge a new way to stay on your path. When expectations fall short, however, you'll see a wall in the road and you'll let it stop you.
Gandhi led non-violent marches and tax revolts and movements against British rule. He was met with massive criticism but he never cared how he looked to other people. He stayed on his path. He stayed righteous.
My wish is for you to stay righteous on your path. That what you think, what you say, and what you do becomes closer to harmony each and every day. Others' opinions of you are their problems - not yours.
Om namah